I learned a lot during this summer. First and most important: Pain is for growing, and I hope, I dived into any stitch which life presented me this summer. I learned, how to cope with my phases of trans-downness in a better way, and about my optimal reaction of getting misgendered. - I understand now, that this is a Terry Pratchett joke, a message from the Discworld, a parallel existing universe of cis-heteronormativity.
I learned to be loud, when my trans limits and all the things, which will never change, coming into my consciousness.
When this Why? shines on the nightly sky, like the Batman logo over Gotham City. - I will shout out my anger about God, Fate or this entity, with this very dark sense of humour, immediately, when they try to step into my mind, and make this trans* thing even worse. – And it seems to work, all these constructs don’t like opposition.
I also meet persons during the summer, were I thought: Wow I would like to date!, and I will use the non-binding term dating in future. Bury the desire for a never-ending-true-deep-love-lifetime relationship.
Spending two evenings per week together, giving our skin touches and kisses to your necks, should be adequate to stay healthy and enough, to push each other into a stable state. - But this means a lot of honest communication. (So maybe it's easier to stay in the endless love narrative.)
And yes, I will start to save some money, to go my own way, after my illness insurance fucked me completely, by doubting about my F.64. But it's okay to rely on myself, in all important topics.
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